What do I even say??

Ok, so last night was one of the most intense of my life.  I guess I should start from the beginning.  So I stayed at work late to meet up with L2.  We met at the Salty Dog in Faneuil Hall (Great outside bar, if you've never been there.)  I was there waiting for her and noticed a guy sitting there asking the bartender a bunch of questions about the area.  I asked him if he was in town on business.  (Note:  My week in Baltimore has given me a new appreciation for the business traveller.  I would have killed to have someone start a conversation with me when I was away.)  

We talked for a bit about Boston, work and all that yadda yadda.  So L2 calls me because she is hear and can't find me. (Side Note:  For me this was a completely blind date.  No idea what she looked like.  Though apparently she had gotten a picture of me through my old high school friend who works with my mom, who needless to say was happy to provide a picture.  Doesn't really seem fair.)  I waved, and she waved back and walked around to come in the bar.  The guy in town on business said "Wow, your girlfriend is beautiful."  "Oh no, she's not my girlfriend.  This is actually the first time I've ever met her.  I had no idea what she looked like till just now."  "No way," he said.  "Seriously man.  This girl I went to high school with set us up.  I've never spoken to her face to face before right now."

He put his hand up for the high five.  Now, I don't NOT like the high five.  It has its place.  But this wasn't really it.  I obliged.  L2 came walking over, I introduced myself and asked if she'd like a drink.  My new friend at the bar asked the bartender to give us a round on him.  L2 asked "Do you know him?"  "No not really.  Just met him.  He's in town on business."  "And he's buying us drinks?" she asked.  "Yeah I guess so."  I thanked him and introduced L2 who thanked him as well.  I think she was a little caught off guard by my random friend making abilities.  I guess that's a good first impression to make no?

L2 is attractive.  Dark brown hair with olive skin and beautiful blue eyes.  She isn't what I would call drop dead gorgeous (read: C gorgeous.  Yeah, C is that hot.) but she is definitely good looking.  About 5'4?  Thin.  Physically I'd be far too picky if I had any issue with her appearance at all.

So, a drink turned into dinner.  I was much more relaxed than I thought I would be.  I always get riled up and nervous before first dates, and then when the time comes along I just go with the flow.  We talked, she asked all the first date questions. (Random Tangent:  What is my favorite food??  Honestly?  NO idea.  I haven't a clue.  My favorite band??  Nope, nothing there either.  I like a lot of bands.  A better question to ask would be who am I listening to a lot right now.  I need to think up some stock answers for these situations.  But I digress.)

So she said she was waiting in town to meet up with a friend and that they were going out and I should come.  I had already committed to playing golf with a friend of mine today and had to get his golf clubs in my trunk, get my shit together and get some sleep, so I politely declined.  She seemed disappointed, but I assured her I'd would wait with her till he friends came.

We spoke a bit more.  Made more random bar friends (I have a way of doing this for some reason.  Don't know why.  Apparently I'm approachable...)  Then she had to go meet her friends.  I paid the tab, she protested.  I said "Maybe next time."  She said "What do you mean maybe."  "I mean if there is a next time."

The look on her face told me that I would be seeing her again.  I told her I was teasing her and that I'd love to see her again whenever she wants.  I wrote her an email this morning saying I had a great time and that if she wants we should do it again soon.  I'll call tomorrow.  I would today, but honestly, after last night I'm not sure I have it in me.  (read on to see why)

So I get on the god forsaken green line, get home, get my car, drive to my friend's, get his golf clubs.  As I'm driving away the Russian texts me and says "I'll be home by 11 if you're free."

I text "Sure, text me when you're getting off the train, I've got the place to myself."

(Side Note:  My conscience did at times say to me that this was wrong, but my logic told it to shut up because I really owe nothing to anyone at this point.)

She came over.  Things started getting umm...yeah...I'll spare you the details, but all of the sudden at one point she just said "Stop!"  I did, obviously.  She lay there curled up, shaking like a leaf.  Not good.  Something is wrong.  I ask if she is ok, and wrap my arms around her and pull her close to try to stop her from shaking.  This goes on for about 2 or 3 minutes.  Then she stops shaking and breathes deeply.

She turns to me, looks me in the eyes and says "I need to tell you, 6 months ago in Russia I was raped."

!!!!!!????

Rape to me is about the worst thing there is.  Convicted rapist = death penalty as far as I'm concerned.  Kill them.  They deserve it.  This poor girl is 20 years old and is never going to be the same again.  This person took from her something she will NEVER get back.  I didn't delve into the details, as obviously it is a subject I'm sure she doesn't want to relive.

She said, "You would never do that right?"

??What??

"I would never do anything like that to anyone, let alone you.  That is a horrible horrible thing.  You don't need to worry when you're with me.  That will never happen.  I promise you with all my heart.  You're safe here."  She laid in my arms and fell asleep.  I couldn't sleep.  I am enraged that someone would do this to her.  That someone would do this at all.  Last night I was filled with transcendent anger.  The kind that can keep you up all night and you won't even feel the slightest bit tired.

I am ill equipped to deal with this.  I'm not sure anyone on the planet is equipped to deal with this, but I know I definitely am not.

I told Becky.  She said "How is it that you always find these girls?"  I won't go into specifics, but I've had some...projects...in the past.

I am at a loss.  I tried to comfort her as much as I could.  I tried to let her know that she is safe with me.  But I never can.  I don't know who this person is who did this to her.  I don't even know if he's in jail or what.  But I want nothing more than to beat the living shit out of him for her.  And I barely know her.

Note to Rapists:  You cowardly scummy gutless pieces of shit.  If it were up to me we would round you all up and blow your fucking heads off, but alas it is not.  Instead you go to jail for a year or two, and your victim is in jail for the rest of their lives.  You will burn in hell, but in the meantime I hope your live is miserable.  Full of despair, want and hopelessness.  You are the lowest of the low.  

I don't pray often.  But last night I said a prayer, and asked God to help this girl to get her life back together.

God bless her.

So I just got back from golfing.  Gonna hop in the shower, dress and hopefully get to the blogger meet up for a few drinks before I drive to the North Shore to see all the family.  I don't have time to be fashionably late, so if anyone who is going is reading this, PLEASE someone be there at 630.  If not I'll be on my own for 45 minutes or so, and then I'll leave.

Ok, I'm out.