"I have to talk to you...."

I called E last night.  I told her I was headed to Somerville to my friend's place to have dinner and do my laundry. (Back story: My father is a builder.  He had an extra brand new washer, and my friend had a dryer with only washer hook ups.  My father gave him the washer, there for I have inalienable rights to go over and do free laundry whenever I want.)  Needless to say this isn't exciting, but the point I really had was to try to see her later on in the night when I got back.  She says she's planning on meeting up with a friend because she left her camera at his house last weekend so she can't come, but that I should call her when I get back to Brighton.

So I go to my friend's house.  (Tangent:  I've realized that I always say "my friend" or "My friend's girlfriend" all the time and never give them names.  That ends today.  Needless to say, the names have been changed to protect the pseudo-innocent.)  Let's call him Ham.  Ham lives with his girlfriend, let's call her....Cheese.  HA!  Clever, I know.

So I have dinner with Ham and Cheese and do my laundry.  2 loads, whites and darks.  (Side Note:  I'm a bleach man.  I know.  I know.  It's not good for your clothes or whatever, but your whites never get really blindingly white if you don't use it, and frankly nothing drives me crazier than dingy ass white tee shirts or socks, and it is worth it to me for them to lose a little of their life to look that way.  I guess that is one of my little OCD's.)  We watch the baseball and football games while I'm waiting for my clothes and get a little stoned.

My clothes are done.  I fold the important ones (read: the ones I will have to wear outside of other clothes and am trying like hell to iron as little as possible) and toss the rest in the bottom of my basket.  I thank them for their hospitality and head home.  Drop my clothes off and go on the hunt for a parking spot.  Now, normally Brighton isn't THAT bad to park in.  I mean, I used to have to try to find parking down by Fenway Park and Northeastern all the time, so this is comparatively not that bad.  Last night was the exception.  I was driving around for about 20 minutes when I finally called E.  She was clearly in a bar.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me.  What are you up to?"

"Oh, I'm at Harry's with my friend Oliver.  We're just finishing up trivia and then I was gonna call you."  (Harry's is literally right across the street from my house)

"Ok well, I've been driving around looking for a parking spot for 20 minutes, so I should be home in about 20 more, so no rush.  Give me a call when you're done."

So, I drive around for about 15 more minutes and finally say fuck it and park in the valet spot at Zocalo.  I go in to make sure they're done valeting.

"Excuse me, are you guys done valeting cars for the night?" I say to the cute blonde bartender.

"Ummm, I don't really know.  We might not be."

"Oh, ok.  Well where is your valet, I'll ask him."

"Oh, he went home."  This is rude, but I'm typing it anyway: Get used to being behind a bar sweetheart.  I'm sorry but Jesus Christ, how do you not know if you're done valeting if you don't have a fucking valet anymore?!  Despite how dumbfounded I was, I was not a jerk to her.

"Ah, so I'll be fine.  Thanks, have a good night."

I head home to sort out my laundry basket.  No sooner am I done hanging, folding  the rest of my clothes, and putting them away than E calls.

"Hey I'm on my way over to your front door right now."

"Ok, buzz me and I'll let you up."

She comes up, we hop on the couch and have some small talk for a bit.  She says she wants to have a smoke and stands up to go to my deck.

"I'll join you."

"Good, I kind of need to talk to you anyway."

FUCK!!!!  ALERT ALERT!!! YOU'RE FUCKED!!!!!

Needless to say, I'm waiting for the shoe to drop, but I try to make light and not show that I'm nervous, "You're not gonna get all heavy on me are ya?"

"Maybe a little bit."

Aye.  This looks bad.  Very bad.

We sit down, and I ask for a cigarette.  I was a blindfold away from the perfect outfit for my coming execution.

"Ok." she starts, "I've been thinking about this, and this is really hard, but I'm going to say it anyway."  NOT GOOD.

"I really like you." Nothing good ever starts this way. "And I really have a lot of fun with you."

"But..." I say.

"But...."  Here is where the shoe drops.  Here is where she walks out of my life.  But at least she'd be one of the few that had the courtesy to say it to my face right??

"But I really need to take this slow."

The relief I felt at that moment is nearly incomparable.  It's like the moment right after your doctor tells you that you don't have any STD's.

"I really like you, and I want to spend time with you, but I just can't rush into a relationship.  I don't want to get into a relationship just because I want to be in one, or just because I think I want to be with you."

Ok, well the first part I totally understand.  Makes perfect sense.  The second part is a little more ambiguous to me personally, but whatever, I didn't think anymore about it.

"Are you mad?"

"Am I mad?  Are you kidding of course not.  This is the exact same thing that I SHOULD be saying to you, but I don't have the self discipline, or quite frankly the guts.  I have no problem with this.  We can take this as slow as you want to."

"Oh thank god I thought you would be like 'bye.'  I just feel like we don't even really know each other. I'm so happy you're not upset."

"No no, this is absolutely fine.  I'm sorry if it felt like I was pushing you for some kind of relationship.  I was inviting you to hang with my friends all the time because of what you said to me the other night.  I'm absolutely fine with this going slowly.  Were you really worried that I'd be mad?"

"I was.  I really was.  I had no idea what to expect."

"Oh god, I'm sorry!  No no, this is good.  This is great.  You have nothing to worry about ok?  Everything is fine.  I don't want to be the reason that you stress about things because that sucks, but I'm really happy that you could come to me and talk about this.  I really appreciate it."

So, disaster averted I guess?  I tried to make her understand that I really actually did appreciate her candor.  You don't get that very often.  (Side Tangent:  I was telling my friend Ham about this today on G-chat as I sat around my office with shit to do.  Now, Ham used to be one of those semi crazy, definitely hilarious college buddies who has since settled down because he's got this serious girlfriend that he lives with.  He's still down for a good time here and there, and when his girlfriend is not around, but he's definitely good for a gem or two a week.  When I was telling him about E's and my little conversation this is what I got:  "She's just pullin back a little bit.  She needs to justify the fact that she let you get your filthy paws on her holiest of holy's after the first date.  Don't worry about it man, everything will work out.")

We sat on the couch and she said she had to head home soon because she had an early morning.  I tested the waters.

"You don't HAVE to go home."

"No, I do.  I have to be to work by 730, and I'd have to get up, go home, shower, iron blah blah.  But Wednesday I don't have to work till noon, so I can stay over then?"

I guess I just found out what "taking it slow" is?  Aye.  I don't know.

So anyway, she's meeting a friend downtown after work for some drinks and then she's gonna call me.  There is definitely a much better vibe coming off of her than the last few girls I've seen.

Random other story:  She says she's dying her hair blonde.  She has this beautiful naturally dirty blonde wavy hair that I absolutely love, and she's going to go completely blonde.  If this were six months from now, I'd say something like "Oh but it's so beautiful now. You really don't need to dye it."  But that's over the line.  I just hope she doesn't end up looking like Brooke Hogan.  Thats just too much.....but I digress.

Thanks for reading and posting.

Till next time.