Flakeage

Remember the little meet up E and I were going to have on Tuesday night?  Well, let's just say it was...umm...interesting.

She told me the night before that she'd be calling me after she met up with her friend for drinks downtown.  Probably around 9-ish.  Ok, thats cool.  Maybe we'll hang out, watch a movie.  Something to that effect.  So Tuesday night I clear my schedule of everything except for her.  I sit on my couch and watch the Red Sox game, which is perfect, because I love baseball and it's been a while since I've had a night to just sit down, have a beer and some food and watch the Sox.

9 comes and goes with no phone call.  If you've read anything I've written in the past few months you know what this does to my head.  It sends it spiraling off into pessimistic "oh shitsville" and I become completely neurotic.  I tell myself to relax.  She's with a friend, it's taking longer than she thought but she will call.

10 comes and goes with no call, and the baseball game is all but over.  Dejected, I walk into my room, throw on some gym shorts and lay in bed.  I'm having flashbacks to C all over again.  "I like you I really do."  Then no call when it's supposed to come.  I figure fuck it.  I'm gonna at least hold her accountable.  Assuming she decides she wants to respond.

I text "Have I lost you for the evening?"

She replies "Still at pool league." (she is in a pool league.  She doesn't play, she apparently sits around keeping score.  Whatever, either way it's irrelevant to me.)

I reply: "Sooo should I still be expecting a call from you tonight because if not I'm going to bed."

Her reply: "Well I'm probably leaving soon."

Finally I can't take the texting anymore and I just call her:

Me "Hey what's up?  What happened?"

E "I'm still at pool league.  It's running late."

Me "Ok, but remember you were supposed to call after you had drinks with your friend and we were gonna hang out?"

E "Oh my god I totally forgot!  I'm SO sorry!!"

Me "Listen, I don't care if you have pool league.  I don't care if you hang out with your friends every day of the week, but you made plans with me.  If you forgot fine, but all I really needed was a phone call.  I've been sitting on my couch waiting for you to call me since 9 o'clock."

E "I'll be done in 15 minutes.  Can I stop by after?"

Me "Well, sure I guess.  But hurry because I'm literally laying in bed about to pass out."

E "Ok.  I'll hurry."

So she calls from my front door and I buzz her up.  She apologizes and informs me that she's really not good at calling people.  In another situation I probably would have been accommodating and and just said "Oh it's cool.  Just try to make sure you call me next time.  Or remember pool league before you make plans with me."

In yet ANOTHER situation I would have been assertive and said "That's really flakey and quite frankly pretty lame.  How could you have forgotten plans you made less than 24 hours before?"

Instead I was just completely honest and told her how I felt: "Listen, I have no problem with you not hanging out with me.  It's cool.  I understand and I wouldn't even think of asking you to change anything about you or what you do for me.  With that being said, when you make a plan with me, and then don't call me, all I think is that you've stood me up.  And that is a really shitty feeling to have."

E "You really thought I stood you up?"

Me "Well what the hell else am I supposed to think?  You made a plan and you were supposed to call me and you didn't until I called you.  I don't really have a whole lot of prior experience with you personally to go on, but what experience I have with other people would lead me to believe that I'd been stood up."

No, I'm going to sound like an apologist right now, but this is 100% true.  By that night E had been to my apartment 4 times.  The first time completely shitfaced, the others not as much.  Either way, this very night she had to ask me where my bathroom was because she didn't think she'd ever used it.  Lets just say she has, and I don't live in a mansion, so there aren't exactly a whole lot of doors to choose from.  Now, either she's a sly clever girl, far beyond the credit I'm giving her, or her short term memory isn't great.  So I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

I told her not to worry about it, but that in the future I would really appreciate a phone call in situations like that.  She apologized again and we laid on my couch.  She said she'd have to leave soon.  I was caught a little off guard because she told me she didn't have work until late in the day Wednesday so it shouldn't have been a problem for her to stay over.

I said I thought she should stay.  She said she really didn't think she should.  I finally read someone right and said:

"Listen, I'm not asking you to stay because I'm trying to get lucky.  You say you hardly know me and I see you twice a week for 5 minutes at midnight.  It's kind of hard to get to know someone like that no?  You sleeping with me doesn't mean we have to have sex."

"Oh.  Well.  In that case I guess I can stay here."

She stayed and left with me in the morning.  We made plans that night to have dinner tonight.  Let's hope she doesn't flake out again, because she's got about 1 more chance with that shit before I just quit.

In other news, I guess facebook isn't THAT horrible.  Or is it.  Erin said she facebook stalked me, so I found her and sent her a friend request.  2 days later she accepted, but had ZERO info up.  Now, she either never had any info, or erased it before she accepted my request.  Either is possible, and I'm sure you can guess which way I'm leaning.  That's just the way I am.  I wish I wasn't.

In still OTHER news I sent a friend request to The Boss because she popped up in the "people you may know" tab.  She accepted and I saw that she was engaged to (let's call him) Timmy.  "Hmmm..." I think, "The guy she broke up with to sleep with me for a few months was named Timmy."  After further investigation (looking at her pictures) I ascertain that it is in fact the very same Timmy!  She is marrying the guy that she cheated on with me and broke up with!!!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

This has sent my head spinning.  I'm just....I don't know.  I want so badly to call her out on it, but I know it is completely inappropriate and would be a horrible idea.  But I just sit and think of all of the shit that she told me about how he was cold and unloving and this and that (not to mention enough of  a douche that she cheated on him with me) and now she's gonna marry the guy?!

I don't know what to do.  Suggestions are welcomed.