The Myth....The Legend

All of you people who have played golf will understand parts of this post.  Others will not, but parts they will....but there are parts of this post that are not at all golf related, so if you're not a golfer, skip the first paragraph and read on.

So I played 18 holes with my co-workers at a gorgeous private golf club.  I've never really played on a course this nice before.  And I sucked.  I've been playing golf since I was 15 years old, so about 10 years now, and in 10 years I've NEVER played 18 holes worse than the 18 I played today.  I'm not kidding.  Even when I was a 15 year old who had really never played before I could at least hit the ball right.  Maybe not where I wanted it to go, but straight and in the air.  Today, I couldn't hit anything right.  It fucking sucked.  I just wanted to get off the golf course, when in reality I should have been having a great time playing on a great course.  Those who have played this horrible game will know what I'm talking about.  Some days you're just horrible, and there is nothing that you can do about it...that was me today.  Other days you hit the ball beautifully and you love it...its a mystery....

In other news, on the way home I went to a strip club with some co-workers.  Now, I'm not generally a strip club kind of guy.  It's not that I really have anything in particular against s

trip clubs.  If guys want to pay to see naked women, and women want to get naked for money who am I to tell them they are wrong.  I mean, I don't really overtly enjoy strip clubs or strippers, and I don't NOT enjoy them.  To me going to a strip club is more about a social experience than seeing women with no clothes on.  Like there should be a special occasion, a bachelor party, birthday...etc, as a reason to go to a strip club.  People who just go to strip clubs on a random afternoon because they have nothing to do kind of bug me out.

Anyway, We get into the strip club, get a few beers, watch a few strippers dance.  Now, most women don't understand the type of "relationship" that I personally have with strip clubs and strippers.  I don't go to strip clubs to get jollies or thrills or to find a date.  It is a social thing.  I never go with less than 3 or 4 other people.  I'm not the guy who sits next to the stage sticking my tongue out and licking my lips, and honestly, no lie, I don't get lap dances.  It's about going out with the guys.  Is that objectifying women?  Well, yes, I guess you can't treat a woman more like an object than if you're throwing money at her to take her clothes off, so that I am guilty of.  But honestly, if these particular women had a real problem with it they wouldn't be doing it, and lets not pretend like there are no male strip clubs that women frequent and objectify men.  But my point is, strippers are strippers.  It's not like me seeing your best friend taking her clothes off, it's not like seeing anyone I would ever be interested in taking their clothes off.  It's just a random girl on a stage with no clothes on.  If it were up to me, I would pretty much never go to a strip club, but sometimes it's just what happens.

So, while at the strip club with the work guys one of the strippers asked me how old I was, I told her, she said "Wow, you're young."  Apparently 25 is young in stripper years??  Even though she couldn't possibly have been older than 25 herself.  Another stripper told me I was handsome....I mean, thank you sweetheart and all, but you understand that coming from you it seems a little less than genuine.  Yet ANOTHER stripper asked me if I was ok (yes, this many strippers actually spoke to me in the 30 minutes that I was in the club, why I don't know because they never spoke to any of the other guys I was with).  I said "I'm fine, why?"  She said I should smile more....

I don't mean to be rude or anything, but umm....I don't really need advice from strippers.  I left the place feeling like a dirty old man, as I always do after leaving a strip club.  The thoughts going through my head pretty much went like this:

-  Do these women have boyfriends or even husbands?  And if so, who are these men who are just fine with the women that they supposedly love taking their clothes off for money?

-  Does it make me scummy that I was just at a strip club?

-  How would I feel if the girl I was dating was at a male strip club?  (Note: I answered this question pretty much as soon as I asked it:  I really don't think it's a problem because I assume women see strippers the same way as I do; entertainment and a social occasion, not anything to be taken seriously.)

-  If I weren't single, would I actually tell the truth about this whole situation to my significant other or would I lie?

This last question wasn't so easy to answer.  I mean, honestly, it would be a LOT easier to just lie or not mention it because then there is no guilt trip about it.  But that is kind of horrible, and when I think about it, I will try as hard as I can not to do something like that.  Though there are no guarantees, I hope someday I can find a girl who I could say "I went to the strip club with the guys from work today."  And she could say something like "Eww gross" and that would be the end of it because she knows what its like...

Maybe some day...or maybe I should just not go to strip clubs...