WELCOME TO MY HEAD

Here it is....for the world to see....
Please read, and tell your friends...
AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COMMENT!!!!

Quote of the....well....however long it takes for me to get a new one.

"You don't miss your water
Till your well runs dry."
-The Black Crowes

Monday, May 26, 2008

The Finest Laid Plans...

So, I will try to recap the weekend as best as I can remember.  It was a bit of a blur.  Too much beer, too many people.  Ah, who am I kidding, I loved every second of it.  Anyway, let us start with the phone call, as it seems to be what many people are interested in hearing about.

So, after my post Thursday I went out and met up with a few friends at the Publick House in Brookline for some pre-basketball game beers and dinner.  (Julie, I'm a huge fan, always been one of my favorite bars, though I don't know anyone who works there ;) )  After dinner, I made the call on my walk home.  I do this a lot for some reason.  I feel like when I'm walking I can't think too much about what I'm saying because I need to be concerned with not getting run over.  She answered, I said "Hi it's Nick, do you remember me?"  Not the smoothest opener, I know, but the answer to that question will pretty much tell you how the rest of the call will go (plus a legitimate question to someone who's phone number you got at last call at a bar).  She answered "Of course, I was wondering when you were going to call me!"  I'm not sure there is an answer she could have given that would have made me feel more immediately at ease.  We chatted, I told her I was having a cook-out in Gloucester, and that it would be great if she could come.  She asked what night, I said Saturday, and wouldn't you know it in the irony of ironies she had tickets to a show...In Boston!!!  The one weekend I wasn't going to be in Boston, and she was!  Sucked.  I couldn't (I should say, didn't think I could) hang out Friday night, so I suggested maybe Sunday.  She said definitely, give me a call.

So, Friday night there were circumstances that I believed would make it so I couldn't hang out with Kaitlyn, which is why I said I couldn't on Thursday.  Those circumstances changed, so I figured what the hell, I'll give her a call.  She was at a friend's house in Cambridge!!!  Worst weekend ever to leave the city apparently.

In other news, the cook-out in Gloucester turned into a party, as tends to happen.  A friend of a 
friend came up from Connecticut to hang out, and my friend told me just after their arrival, in no uncertain terms that she was there for me....exact words actually "she is here for you"...and this is a girl 
telling me this about her friend.  At any rate, as any party at one's residence ends up being, I was all over the place throughout the night, talking to people I hadn't seen in a while, making sure everyone was behaving.  At the end of the night (beginning of morning) I ended up in a room with my friend, the girl who was "here for" me, and another friend.  The search for places to sleep started when the birds started singing, and since I had "the biggest most comfortable bed in the house" (not my quote, hers) she asked if I would mind if she slept with me.

I am weak.  I'm a little more than mildly disappointed in myself I would say.  But should I be?  Someone throws themselves at you, it is hard to say no when you're drunk, especially when you're single.  I guess I really have no reason to have not slept with her, other than the fact that I'm really not a HUGE one night stand kind of guy.  (Full Disclosure:  In my life I've had 4 one night hook ups including this one.  I would say 2 out of 4 should not count because they were with people that I knew for some time before actually sleeping with them, but as there was no repeat performance I would say it is a one nighter.  Always seems to happen when I'm drunk, and in the 2 incidents with friends both parties kind of regretted it.)  I just can't help the feeling of...scummyness I guess....that goes along with a 1 nighter sometimes.  Again, if you like 1 nighters, be my guest, I reserve no right to judge, and really would like to think that I don't, its just not for me.  I guess I need more.  Call it Catholic guilt, but I did get her phone number from my friend, so I guess if I make a phone call I can turn it into not a one nighter??  If that is possible?

On Sunday, I was in very rough shape.  That happens when you drink till 4 AM, do whatever till whenever, and wake up at 10 to play golf.  After 18 I had to clean, a lot.  I didn't get in touch with Kaitlyn till about 8PM, and I was honest with her.  I said, "I'm staying home tonight.  I'm so sorry, I was up till 4AM and woke up at 10...I wouldn't be very good company.  If you want to go out another time, I will be back next weekend."  (I said honest, not suicidal...of course I couldn't tell her what had also contributed to my lack of sleep...I don't think that was out of line...tell me if I'm wrong.)  She told me she was at home and was actually planning on staying in anyway "...unless you called and convinced me."  I apologized, and told her that next weekend I wouldn't take no for an answer.  We are doing something.  I don't think I'll wait till Thursday to call this time.

Not the best case scenario of what could have happened this weekend, but a good time none the less, and it seems as though Kaitlyn is interested enough to give me a shot.  Here is a question for comment:  Is it bad that my immediate thought when she told me she had tickets to a show was that I thought she was trying to avoid me?  I mean, she explained it (it turns out she was going to see the same band that we were watching when we met last week) so I'm reasonably certain it was the truth.  It sucks that I even think that, and at one time I never would have, but recently it seems people have been much less genuine with me.  Like honesty is a luxury I shouldn't assume I'm being given.  Sad, really.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have to know how to read people. If you feel they are not being genuine with you, then they probably aren't. Trust your gut feeling.

I believe you did the right thing on "The Phone Call".

I had 1 - one night stand that was not supposed to be a one night stand (I knew the guy - for 8 years!!)One night stands are what they are for a reason.

Do I make sense?

Julie said...

I think in the whole dating game we're all going to have some insecurity as to whether "other plans" are really other plans or just an excuse... but obviously from the rest of your conversation(s) she seems to really want to see how this plays out. I like this post alot. I like your honesty and vulnerability.

You didn't tell me you go to the Publick House! Mac n bacon?? Tell me you love it!

I need to write back to your comments on my latest entries.. I read them when I first woke up and you really helped to start my day off on the right foot.

Regardless... it sounds like you had an aweseome weekend. Love it.

voiceinmyhead said...

Relax! as much as you want things to work out a certain way w/ this chick, at this point in time, you are both total strangers. she owes you nothing (including excuses, valid or otherwise) and you owe her nothing (she doesn't need to know anything about who you were with).

now call her this week and keep us posted :)

JK said...

Think about it this way....she might have thought you were avoiding her when you didn't call until 8 and then you said you didn't think it was a good night.....and you weren't avoiding her...you were being honest.

I feel like we(including me) get so cynical and paranoid in the dating scene....my point being, I'm sure she was being honest.