First, I left work Friday at noon. My boss decided he was going to give me shit for it, at which point I said "Well, I have plenty of vacation time, and since I haven't taken a vacation all summer, I don't think its really a big deal that I take a few Friday afternoons off. If you really have a problem with me doing so, then let's discuss it." We didn't discuss it, I left.
Got to Gloucester, got a haircut and went to parent's house where the reception was going to be. We have a huge back yard with a big lawn and a great place to have a band. I helped my cousin who was getting married with a few of the last minute set up things that he had to do, and then we left for the rehearsal dinner.
This was the first time I saw the ex with her BF since...oh I don't know, 2 years ago or so? She made a point to completely avoid me at every opportunity. Her boyfriend, however, was very friendly and we talked a few times, in a more than civil manner. Though that made no difference to her. We had dinner and drinks and the grooms brother (we've spoken about him) got up and gave a little toast. I didn't like it. It wasn't really personal or heart felt at all. He tried to be too funny, and really didn't say anything very deep about the bride or groom, which I guess is to be expected since he really doesn't know either all that well.
After dinner myself and a friend of mine went to the liquor store to get cigarettes and some after dinner refreshments for a little gathering at my parent's place. We hung out, and at the end of the night it was myself and the groom with a couple of cigarettes and glasses of scotch talking things over. He wasn't nervous at all. It was great. I'm not sure what I would have said if he was, because clearly I'm not the person to be giving advice, but he was calm, relaxed, and as far as I know looking forward to the day ahead. We toasted our lives thus far, and hit the sack.
The next day I woke up early to help finish up the last of the last minute stuff, and get my wedding attire ironed. (Yup, my mom ironed my clothes....she likes it though, I swear to god)
The groom got in my car and we left for the wedding. They got married on a boat, and it was honestly a beautiful ceremony. It could not have been a better day on the water. It was warm, sunny and windy. After the ceremony we went for a sail and had some drinks. Again, the ex avoided me like the plague.
So at the reception dinner was a bit late. During dinner I made it clear to the groom's brother that I would be giving the toast. I didn't write anything. I simply decided on a time (after everyone had a while to eat, but weren't getting up yet) got the mic from the band and spoke from the heart.
To be honest, I don't remember exactly what I said. I believe it centered around how the groom was always a brother to me, and how great it was that he had found someone so amazing and beautiful. I was self deprecating, in that I said "I'm clearly not one to be giving advice here," I do remember one thing that I said.
"It seems to me that the key to true and lasting love is never forgetting or taking for granted how lucky you are to have found the person that makes you so happy."
I thought that was nice. Kind of off the cuff, though I had thought about it before. Then when it came time to actually toast I realized that I didn't even have a glass. Now, I have a reputation as a bit of a drinker within my family, so again, in self deprecating style I said "And look at this, one of the few times you see me without a glass in my hand..." and my cousin (who is probably 12, blonde and female) ran up from the crowd with a glass of water for me. It was adorable.
Throughout the night people complimented me on how well I did, but the most important thing was from the groom. When I went back to the head table he stood up, hugged me and said, "That was perfect man. You are my brother. I love you."
So the night went on. The band was good. If you get a chance to see them in Boston definitely check out Elephant House. They're kind of raggae/hip hop type stuff along the lines of Sublime. Their lead singer has a great voice and is a really good guitar player. I danced my ass off, per princess B's recommendation, though they didn't play shout. It was fun, and as is implied by the fact that I was dancing, I was a bit more than three sheets to the wind.
So at some point in the night I get to talking to the ex's parents. They love me, always have. I designed a house for them that I never got to see finished. The whole time we were talking I could see the ex standing a few feet away eves dropping. It was pretty funny. So at one point the groom realized that he didn't have his check book to pay the band. He asked if I could run to his house and grab it. I said sure, but I am WAY to drunk to be driving. The ex's dad offered a ride and off we went. It was good to talk to him, as I haven't seen him in 4 years or so. When we got back I got the STINK EYE from the ex. Her dad caught a glimpse and asked me, "What's her problem?" "I don't know M. I don't know. But if you figure it out let me know."
Her mom and dad invited me over to see the finished house. Her mom saying "look, I know there's.....whatever, but I really want you to come see the house."
I haven't taken her up on the offer, but I may next weekend as I'll be in Gloucester participating in the Schooner race either way.
Throughout the night I had TONS of interaction with the ex's new bf. He seems like an alright guy. We got drunk and he got me stoned since I didn't have any weed. We talked a bit, but I really didn't get a chance to sit him down and just be like:
"look, you know you have nothing to worry about right? Like that shit was a LONG time ago, and its over and always will be. I think you're cool, but if you're uncomfortable with me around, I can understand. Just know there's nothing there."
Maybe another time....when I see him again in 2 years or so?
Anyway, the night went off without a hitch, and my father and I were the last ones up at around 230. We had a cigar, some scotch and a chat and went to bed.
As far as female prospects were concerned, it was kind or a tough situation. The groom's cousins were gorgeous. Right around my age and definitely my type, but with all the crap I had to do, and all the people I had to talk to I really didn't have a chance to say more than a few words to them. My cousin brought her roommate, who was absolutely stunning. Of course she was 19. That didn't stop my brother from shamelessly trying to get in her pants in front of the whole family, but I'm not shameless. My cousin introduced me to her with a wink and a nod, but I couldn't in good conscience do anything about it. We talked for a little while, and she was definitely giving off the "He's older and cute and I'm so excited he's talking to me" vibe, so I was nice and cordial, but I didn't make any moves of any kind, aside from helping her walk my drunk cousin to her car so she could give her a ride home.
All in all a pretty good weekend. Can't complain about anything other than the female situation really. So there it is. Thanks for reading, and I hope I haven't lost you all because it's been so long since I posted.
Till next time.
1 comment:
Good man! Sounds like you were the perfect groomsman with the toast, dancing and not hitting on the young gal ;)
Exes are odd. Glad you were able to get along with her SO.
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