Job Perks

Instead of work tomorrow I get to play 18 holes at a private country club, on the company.  Yes, I have that kind of job.  I know, i seem like a real douche bag for complaining about it so much.  Honestly, I do like my job sometimes.  Sometimes I love my job.  But there are also times that I hate it.

In other news, I met a girl this weekend.  We started talking for a really random reason.  I was in a 6+ year relationship that ended nearly 4 years ago.  We have  a lot of friends in common (as tends to happen when you date that long) so when I go home to visit my parents we sometimes cross paths.  Well, this weekend I popped in on my cousin to drag him and his future wife out to see a band, and wouldn't you know it the ex (two exes ago at this point I guess) was there.  Well, she ran from me like the plague.  I mean, I don't mean to be rude, but isn't it weird to run from someone you haven't dated in 4 years?  After she was gone everyone made excuses why she left, but the only honest answer I got was from my cousin's future wife "she thought it would be awkward."  Awkward?  Know what's awkward??  

When you literally run from a house because I've arrived, and feel that you can't even be seen in the same crowded bar as me.  THAT is awkward.

Anyway, I was speaking to another mutual friend of ours about this at the bar later, and she was absolutely dumbfounded by the whole situation which made me feel better.  While talking to her I saw an absolutely stunning girl kind of looking/listening in to our conversation.  She was tall, with wavy brunette hair, light blue eyes...beautiful.  So I thought, fuck it. "Had an experience like that?" I asked her over my friend's shoulder.  "Actually yes" she answered and we proceeded to talk about how she had a 5+ year relationship that had ended and the guy was just as awkward as my ex even months and years later.

Well, she left to go inside (we were on the deck) but I said I'd see her later and she said "I hope so."  That was all I needed.  I played it cool.  Hung out with my friends, talked to a few people I haven't seen in a while.  Then an old friend from high school asked me to come dance with her up by the stage.  I oblige

d (yes, I had a pretty good buzz on, which explains my willingness to dance).  No sooner am I at the front of the stage than I catch the eyes of the same beauty I had spoken to before.  We danced, chatted, but I made no move to be physical beyond dancing.  At the end of the night we were headed in different directions, and she was talking to friends as I was rounding up mine to depart.  I walked over, asked if I could pull her away for two seconds, pulled out my cell, handed it to her and said, "If you give me your phone number I will be here every weekend to see you if that is what you want."  

Now, that is hanging it out there, and I would NOT have been surprised to get a big fat "hell no!" but she seemed excited!!  And quickly typed her name and phone number into my phone.  This, needless to say, made my night.  So, Kaitlyn, I will call you.  I am playing it cool right now, because I guess that's what I'm supposed to do, but you will hear from me, and if my luck holds up, I will see you again this weekend.

Now I just have to hope that she actually gave me her number, and not that one that a machine answers and says "dude, she gave you a bad number because she doesn't like you."  

Cross your fingers.

:)

Office Blogging

So, for the first time I'm writing a blog entry at my office. I feel guilty, but at the same time, if I had a ton of stuff to do, I would be doing that instead. Does anyone else work in an office where you're expected to look like you're working even if you have no work to do? I mean, honestly, if I have work, I do it. If not, what, should I sit here and stare at a spreadsheet that I'm not doing anything to? If you want me to look like I'm working, give me some F-ing work to do, otherwise don't give me crap because I'm reading CNN.com on my work computer. It's not like I'm checking out porn or arranging to overthrow the government.

Furthermore, what is with the whole 8-5 thing? I can appreciate it in some situations, like if you're in customer service, or have meetings or something, but honestly, if I'm not in the office, I won't be missed. And if I am missed, I have a cell phone and a laptop, so it is not as if I am unaccessable. The way I see it is this: If I do my job, do it well, and accomplish everything, and more than is what is expected of me, WHY do you care when I am or am not in the office? It's truly aggrivating.

Here is another thing about the office that bothers me: When co-workers arrange "drink night" and get offended when I don't participate. I'm sorry, it's not that I don't like you, but honestly, 40 hours a week is more time than I would really like to spend with even my closest friends let alone co-workers, and if I have something, ANYTHING to do that isn't drink night with you, I'm going to do it. It's not personal, so don't take it personally. And it's not like I'm the anti-social type, or that I NEVER go out with co-workers, but all you have to do is say no to someone once and you're a jerk....

One more thing, then I'm done. Dress codes. WHY? Ok, I mean, to some extent you need to enforce some type of dress code, as in you can't show up to work in a hoodie and sweat pants, but honestly, who gives a crap if I'm wearing jeans or khakis? What F-ing difference does it make? If I know I have an important meeting with an important cleint, I dress up. Otherwise, why are you giving me a hard time about wearing a buttoned shirt and a pair of jeans that costs three times more than the damn khakis I'd otherwise be wearing? And what if I had piercings or tattoos or something? Is that unacceptable? Well, legally it can't be so why is it legal for you to tell me what I'm allowed to wear? When I hear the phrase "business casual" my head just about explodes.

Wow, I just complained A LOT. Sorry for the rant ladies and gents. Just needed to get it out there.

Violence is not the worst thing on TV

So, I'm not a Democrat.  I'm not a Republican either.  Frankly, I think George Washington was right when he said that a two party political system would spell disaster for this country.  I refuse to believe that the feelings and opinions of every American can be summed up by one of two groups.  I would call myself a "liberal conservative."  I know, it's an oxymoron, but the point is, I like the idea of a small government and I'm pro death penalty, but I also think a woman's right to use birth control or get an abortion is none of my damn business.  Further more, as Common said: 

"Who am I or they to say to whom you pray ain't right?"

Honestly, if you want to pray to the ants scurrying around your kitchen floor I could really care less as long as you live by the proverbial "golden rule."  Which brings me to people like Bill O'Reilley and the dear departed reverend Jerry Fallwell.  First Fallwell.  For a guy who is so anti-radical Islam, you did an awful lot of religious exploitation to gain power and money for yourself.  But I'm sure you've been dealt with on the other side so I won't waste my words.

(Full disclosure:  I was raised and confirmed Catholic.  I wouldn't say I'm a practicing Catholic, and in fact, I would say I disagree with a great deal of Catholic Dogma.  i.e. you need to confess your sins to a priest.  Why is it "holier" to confess to a pedophile what I've done wrong than to pray directly to God, and to actually feel remorse and try to make myself better?  I will say, however, that I do call myself a Catholic because it feels good to belong to something, and I think that when you dig through all the bullshit, having religion and belief isn't a bad thing.  This is a whole other post on its own...)

Now, Bill O'Reilley....Few people on the planet can get me fired up as much as O'Reilley can.  It's not that he's a loud mouth, or even that I disagree with 95% of the crap that he spews, but mostly because he is so WRONG most of the time that it is appalling that he's allowed night after night to spew his hate speech on American television.   For example:

You are wrong Bill.  Admit it.  But he can't.  And what's worse, he, on his own show, is a dictator on the order of the ones he rails against on a regular basis.  If you disagree, he shouts louder.  If your point is better, he mutes you.  The man is a blusterous MORON, and yet, he is still on TV.  Now, I'm not a conservative, but anyone with a half a brain can NOT think that this man could possibly represent them or their views.  What is worse, O'Reilley is a BU grad.  If I were BU, I would keep that fact under wraps....his ignorance is not something I would use to sell my school....Now, tarnishing, no, trivializing (none of these words seem strong enough) the memory of long dead American heroes is bad enough, but this is where I draw the line....

The old "she was asking for it."....Open letter to Bill O'Reilley:

You aren't a patriot.  You aren't a hero.  YOU represent everything that is wrong with this country.  A young woman gets raped on the street and it was her fault for wearing revealing clothing?  Am I in the United States or Saudi Arabia?  You Fascist douche bag, I would never wish on ANYONE that they or anyone close to them get raped or murdered, but for one second I would like you to know how it feels to be that person, or someone close to that person, and then maybe you would pull your head out of your own ass and realize how dangerous and ignorant the vomit of words coming out of your mouth is.

And yet, he is still on T.V., and even worse, people watch.  Want to save America Bill?  Shut the fuck up and get off of T.V.  God saves a special place for people like you, and lets just say it will be warm and toasty, and you won't be comfortable.

I'll step off of my soap box now....but I'd like to know how others feel.  Comment if you will, it would be much appreciated.

I'm not a poet

I float, endlessly

with a wanton disregard for myself.

All I think of is you,

whoever you are, wherever you are.

I know you are out there somewhere,

just waiting for me to discover.

Is it a fools errand,

to believe that the perfect person could possibly be?

Am I kidding myself?

Have I already thrown away "as good as it gets?"

How can I know if you even exist?

Or am I doomed to failed relationship

after failed relationship,

holding out for the perfect one that isn't there?

Until I find you I will wander,

like a drifter without a home,

and you on the back of my mind

as a hopeful memory of what could be.

Filthy Savages!

My car got hit while parked on the side of the road.  AGAIN.  This is the second time in two months that some dickless piece of trash has smashed into my car while it was parked and driven away without so much as a letter.  Quite frankly, it is getting pretty old.  As Vincent Vega said in Pulp Fiction "You don't fuck with another man's vehicle....It would have been worth him doing it if I could have just caught him doing it."  Note to anyone who happens to read this blog, when you smash into someone, at least have the courtesy to leave a note and take responsibility for your fuck up.  There are few things lower than trashing someone else's ride and then just disappearing into the night like a gutless weasel.  This is turning into a HORRIBLE week....someone help me!!!!  I'm not saying anything...but just watch....

Work...it's FAAAANTASTIC!

Disclaimer:  I have a good job, so I really shouldn't complain, but I'm going to anyway.

I am an engineer by trade.  I design the things that keep society running that no one thinks about, for instance, the plant that makes the water that comes out of your faucet drinkable. 

(Random side tanget:  It is bizarre to me that America spends billions of dollars a year treating drinking water, yes "drinking" water, to such an extent that it is clean enough, you guessed it, to drink.  Then, they buy a Brita and pour the water into a pitcher that they wash, wh

at, every 3 months or so?, and take out all of the things that keep the little gross things from growing in it.  Or buy bottled water which, for the record, is COMPLETELY unregulated and ma

y contain things like arsenic and other heavy metals.  Full disclosure, I use a Brita because there is the very real chance that your water service lines have lead in them, but for god sakes, wash the things will you?!)

Sorry, where was I, oh right.  My job is interesting, stimulating and quite frankly I go home at night feeling like I've contributed to society in a good way.  The problem, though, is the fact that even as an engineer you can't escape the bullshit that is office politics.  The engineering version goes like this:  Senior engineer guy comes up with an idea, you, the young junior engineer, come up with an idea that is more effective and cheaper to build, but you are completely discounted because, you guessed it, you're young.  But the worst part comes a few weeks later when Mr. Senior Engineer realizes that his idea is shit and yours is better, and then passes your idea off as their own to the person above them.  This happens.  A lot.  Now, I know this happens to everyone.  I understand that sooner or later I will be in a position to stop this, but right now, what the hell am I supposed to do?  I come up with a good idea, get shot down, only to have the person above me pawn it off as their own.  Do I rat them out?  How does it sound when junior engineer goes to big boss "That idea that senior engineer just gave you, that was mine and he stole it."  Would I be believed?  Worse, would it turn into one of those uncomfortable confrontations where senior engineer calls you a liar?  I mean, I would like to think that people in a senior position are above that, but they quite obviously are not if they're not above passing off someone else's work as their own.

Along these lines, I'm seriously considering a career change.  I think I may want to teach.  Yes, it would be a massive pay cut, but a student taking your idea and calling it their own is your goal isn't it?  And aren't you essentially responsible for your own destiny as a teacher?  I know, all careers have their downsides, but I look at myself and where I am, and think, if I'm doing this same thing 20 years from now, I will not be a happy person.

I'm a hypocrite

I'm sick at the moment.  Somehow got a cold, which is surprising considering the amount of hard alcohol I've been drinking lately.  Just goes to show, the kill it with booze method does NOT work.  Anyway, I'm not in a state of mind to create a deep well thought out post at this point, but figured I should post something since its been a few days.

So I went to a bar this weekend.  I didn't "try" to pick up girls, but was introduced with a wink and a nod t

o a girl named Daniella.   I LOVE the name.  Anyway, here's the problem with the bar pick up late night at the bar.  I had to be at least 10 beers and 4-5 shots of Jagermeister deep at this point so needless to say I didn't have my best...umm...game.  I didn't even get her phone num

ber.  I was

 WAY too drunk to put together coherent sentences, let alone pick up a beautiful gi

rl.  Swing and a miss as they say.

In other news, the girl who didn't want to see me again shot me a drunk text message Saturday night.  I don't know how to feel about this.  It is either she actually does want to see me again and is playing hard to get, or I was the surest easiest possible hook up she could think of at the time.  I haven't had a chance to ask, though I'm not sure how you ask that question.

Ok, I'm gonna pound some Nyquil and take a nap.  Happy Monday!

"That Guy"

So right now I'm sitting in Starbucks.  Yes, I am "That Guy" who sits in Starbucks typing on his Mac laptop with a coffee...I've never actually done this before and I thought I should try it out. 

Here are some thoughts I've been having:

-  This table is TINY

-  I really don't like that cup of coffee being so damn close to my computer.

-  That girl over there is really cute, but I couldn't possibly talk to her now because it would be on totally false pretenses.  I'm really not the guy who sits in Starbucks blogging, and that is totally the impression that I give.

-  Is the person behind me reading what I'm typing right now?

Here's a question: Is Starbucks an acceptable place to try to meet girls?  I've never really thought about it all that much, but now that I am, it seems this would be better than a bar.  At least at Starbucks the girl/guy you meet today will look the same tomorrow (i.e. no beer goggles), and there is the possibility that they're not the kind of person who spends all night in bars, which to me seems like a pretty good thing.

I mean, honestly, does anyone else feel a little skeeved about meeting people in bars?  Don't get me wrong, I've done it before, and will more than likely do it again, but why is it that people automatically think "I'm single, I need to go to a bar to meet someone."  Honestly.  How many people do you know that are in a stable long relationship started it in a bar room?  I personally suffer from a lack of creativity...like, where the hell else am I gonna go?  I'm not in school anymore, so thats out.  I'm definitely not about to date anyone I work with, so thats out.  The T maybe??  But what is the move there?  You see a girl you think is beautiful and then what?  You try to talk to her on a crowded train while she's on her way to/from 8 hours at the office?  Probably not the PRIMO time to be trying to get to know someone, and if you get shot down, you get shot down in front of like 50 of your closest friends.  Not closest because you know them, closest because they are all literally standing in a 15 square foot area.  That would be pleasant.

I am the first to admit, I have little or no "game" as the kids say, but I would like to think I could carry on a decent conversation with pretty much anyone.  The problem is the starter.  How do you start a conversation with a complete stranger without seeming like a sleaze ball or a lunatic.  If you have some insight, fill me in otherwise when I figure it out I will let you all know.

Trivia Guy

So, Trivia Guy is this really nerdy guy who does trivia at the bar across the street from my house.  I feel bad, but honestly, when I happen to walk in on trivia night, I leave because of him.  Ya know people who just try a LITTLE too hard?  Well trivia guy tries WAY too hard.  Also, he's one of those kids who wears shorts all the time.  You all know someone like this, the person who wears shorts every day...like...late January, 13 degrees outside?  He also wears Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars, which I normally have absolutely no problem with, but seriously, Trivia Guy is about 5'6 145 pounds...his shoes are at least a size 14.  They look like Side Show Bob's shoes.  I should laugh, but for some reason it really bothers me...Also, he plays THE LAMEST music between questions.  Let me think of some gems here...I believe there was some Tiffany this evening...a little Real McCoy...Mariah Carey's greatest hits...you get where I'm going with this.  So I said to my friend today "Ya know, I don't even know trivia guy, but I don't like him."  What a horrible thing to say??  WHERE did that come from?  Trivia guy is probably an ok guy.  I shouldn't hate him because he has goofy shoes and likes 80's girl music.  Quite frankly I'm disappointed in myself.  But I still won't be going to trivia night any time soon....

WITCH HUNT!!

Happy May Day to all of you Wiccans and Communists out there, but I'm talking about a different kind of witch hunt.  For DECADES generations of children were led to believe that marijuana is a horrid mind and body diminishing drug that dooms you to a life of infertility and idiocy.  Now, I'm not going to sit here and pretend pot doesn't make you a little slow in the head, but lets be honest with ourselves here, a night of heavy drinking kills more brain cells than a few weeks worth of grass smoking.  Furthermore, this study, by UCLA, shows that marijuana smoking, even HEAVY use, does not correlate to higher incidences of cancer in any way.  Now, forever one of the main justifications for the banning of marijuana in the US (aside from the gratuitous "its illegal" that no one can explain) has been the supposed negative health effects.  I can vividly recall my health teacher in 6th grade telling me "smoking 1 marijuana joint is equal to smoking 5 cigarettes."  Well, you were either misinformed, or egregiously lying.  I'd guess the latter, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.  Also among the many supposed  negative health effects is sterility.  Well, let me put it this way, I know a lot of pot heads who have kids, who quite frankly it would have been better if the weed did make them sterile.  Not because they're pot heads, because they're dumbasses.  So lets just say that assertion doesn't hold water.  Now, when the holier than thou anti-drug douches tell you that it's bad for your lungs and that you'll get cancer, you can kindly refer them to this study, which actually says there is the "suggestion of a protective effect" to your lungs.  I'm not going to sit here and say that marijuana is this miracle drug, or that everyone should use it, but honestly, it is a plant that anyone can grow in their own home, and actually has legitimate, studied medical benefits.  Furthermore, the archaic laws that outlaw marijuana use have contributed to the incarceration of COUNTLESS petty pot smokers and growers who, assuming that was all they were doing, were clearly causing no harm.  So, we've got over crowded prisons, a failed drug war that is costing tax payers billions of dollars a year, and a natural plant that does ZERO physical harm to people who use it that is just dying for the federal government to regulate, sell and tax.  State cigarette taxes alone added $18 billion to state revenues in the year 2005, and cigarettes are proven to be both addictive and deadly.  So why, pray tell, is it that an innocuous harmless plant that does no harm to anyone is COSTING the US billions of dollars instead of making the government billions of dollars, and saving it billions of dollars on a war that it is not winning, and paying for the incarceration of thousands of stoners.  But go to the store and buy your Jack Daniels (which kills your liver and brain) and your pack of cigarettes (which kill your lungs) without the slightest hint of irony.  

Just once I would like common sense to prevail in the American political process, but as yet I have been disappointed.